Mi luchador Sun Tzu Flung Poo says defeat su enemia without engaging in battle. Both Sun Tzu and Hegel Bagel luchadors decided to team up for a serious tagteam experience on the public, uh, I mean the audience.
Si, I finally decided to allow the multitudes know that muy feo me is listening to them all the time…so better watch out and feel some real muy fuerte FEAR!! Aye aye aye, better not discuss your dilemma, I might just be eavesdropping! I want the ringside audience to piss their pantalones.
Tell you a secret… shhhh, our algorhythms suck and we are not omnipotent, omniscient, or omnivorous. We want to believe we are, but we’d rather have YOU believe. We talk about how the loose anagram of NAZI has a great acronym and how their ‘itchy-lon’ listens in to everything you say, we have backdoors into all your computers, tracking devices on your phones, convex lens detectors that allow us to see what you are looking or aiming at, and soon to announce implants that should really make you shiver. We know that our grande muscles, no matter how we market them, are also our weaknesses. That’s the offensive jockstrap that you smell. Do you feel it tightening around su cabesa, your head as you read? We know that most the dummies know that we have this capability. It’s not a secret. We know, that if you had the right DNA, you’d automatically consider feeding us a ton of horseshit , cangada – then, we wouldn’t know what to do (like some of you did in the Vietnam debacle when you registered fake draftees). But no, what a disappointment you’ve been. We’re not even entertained anymore. All we have to do is make it inconvenient for you to resist, and oye, you show us your exposed estomago. We know you hate inconvenience. Chinga! You could walk away from the ring on your cloven hoofs today!